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American Newspeak Quiz
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American Newspeak Quiz
people are aware that politicians, advertisers, and CEO’s spout
a bit of doublespeak every so often. But few appreciate the scope
of cutting edge advances in the mangling of the English language
occurring today. As governments and corporations grow, they become
more distant from their fellow humans and the planet. The result
is a parking lot of smashed concepts blindly uprooted from their
native soil, which we connoisseurs refer to as Newspeak. Here is
a quiz covering some of my sentimental favorites. Enjoy.
(Answers at bottom)
1. What is a “radiation enhancement device?”
2. What is the Pentagon’s “active denial system?”
3. According to the Army, what is a “pre-dawn vertical insertion?” (Hint: the answer is family-appropriate.)
4. In the 1940’s, what was a “premature anti-fascist?”
5. If you’ve been “unassigned” by AT&T’s “force management program,” what has just happened to you?
6. If you were a temp working for Microsoft and they said you needed to “strengthen your relationship” with your employment agency, what should you do?
7. If you’re made a “partner” at Starbuck’s, how much do you make?
8. What was deemed “inappropriate” and banned by the community of San Juan Capistrano in California?
(A) Pornographic novels
(B) Street gangs
9. In the state of Washington, what common phrase has been replaced by “dairy nutrient?”
10. What are the “hazardous fuels” in the Community Protection and Hazardous Fuels Reduction Act?
11. If you or your organizations are on the Bush Administration’s “high value hit list,” what should you do?
(A) Gloat and leak the good news to the press
(B) Get down to Wal-Mart and start buying
(C) Duck and cover
12. As part of “Reinventing Government” which new job title has the highest rank?
(A) Deputy associate deputy secretary
(B) Associate deputy assistant secretary
(C) Assistant deputy assistant secretary
(D) Deputy associate assistant secretary
A neutron bomb. (Personally, I would have gone with “radiation
Wayne Grytting is the author of American Newspeak: The Mangling of Meaning for Power and Profit .
Z Magazine Archive
CUBAN 5 - From May 30 to June 5, supporters of the Cuban 5 will gather in Washington DC to raise awareness about the case and to demand a humanitarian solution that will allow the return of these men to their homeland.
Contact: email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org.
BIKES - Bikes Not Bombs is holding its 24th annual Bike- A-Thon and Green Roots Festival in Boston, MA on June 3, with several bike rides, music, exhibitors, and more.
Contact: Bikes Not Bombs, 284 Amory St., Jamaica Plain, MA 02130; 617-522-0222; mailbikesnotbombs.org; www.bikesnotbombs.org.
LEFT FORUM - The 2013 Left Forum will be held June 7-9, at Pace University in NYC.
Contact: 365 Fifth Avenue, CUNY Graduate Center, Sociology Dept., New York, NY 10016; http://www.leftforum.org/.
VEGAN FEST - Mad City Vegan Fest will be held in Madison, WI, June 8. The annual event features food, speakers, and exhibitors.
Contact: 122 State Street, Suite 405 B, Madison, WI 53701; email@example.com; http://veganfest.org/.
ADC CONFERENCE - The American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee (ADC) holds its annual conference June 13-16 in Washington, DC, with panel discussions and workshops.
Contact: 1990 M Street, Suite 610, Washington, DC, 20036; 202-244-2990; convention @adc. org http://convention.adc.org/.
CUBA/SOCIALISM - A Cuban-North American Dialog on Socialist Renewal and Global Capitalist Crisis will be held in Havana, Cuba, June 16-30. There will be a 5-day Seminar at the University of Havana, plus visits to a co-op and educational and medical institutions.
Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org; http://www.globaljustice center.org/.
NETROOTS - The 8th Annual Netroots Nation conference will take place June 20-23 in San Jose, CA. The event features panels, trainings, networking, screenings, and keynotes.
Contact: 164 Robles Way, #276, Vallejo, CA 94591; email@example.com; http://www.netrootsnation.org/.
MEDIA - The 15th annual Allied Media Conference will be held June 20-23, in Detroit.
Contact: 4126 Third Street, Detroit, MI 48201; http://alliedmedia.org/.
GRASSROOTS - The United We Stand Festival will be hosted by Free & Equal, June 22 in Little Rock, Arkansas. The festival aims to reform the electoral process in the U.S.
LITERACY - The National Association for Media Literacy Education (NAMLE) will hold its conference July 12-13 in Los Angeles.
Contact: 10 Laurel Hill Drive, Cherry Hill, NJ 08003; http://namle.net/conference/.
IWW - The North American Work People’s College will take place July 12-16 at Mesaba Co-op Park in northern Minnesota. The event will bring together Wobblies from across the continent to learn skills and build one big union.
PEACESTOCK - On July 13, the 11th Annual Peacestock will take place at Windbeam Farm in Hager City, WI. The event is a mixture of music, speakers, and community for peace. Sponsored by Veterans for Peace.
Contact: Bill Habedank, 1913 Grandview Ave., Red Wing, MN 55066; 651-388-7733; firstname.lastname@example.org; http://www. peacestockvfp.org.
LA RAZA - The annual National Council of La Raza (NCLR) Conference is scheduled for July 18-19 in New Orleans, with workshops, presentations, and panel discussions.
Contact: NCLR Headquarters Office, Raul Yzaguirre Building, 1126 16th Street, NW, Washington, DC 20036; 202-785-1670; www.nclr.org.
ACTIVIST CAMP - Youth Empowered Action (YEA) Camp will have sessions in July and August in Ben Lomond, CA; Portland, OR; Charlton, MA. YEA Camp is designed for activists 12-17 years old who want to make a difference.
Contact: email@example.com; http://yeacamp.org/.