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February 2003

Volume , Number 0


Activism

There are no articles.

Commentary

There are no articles.

Culture

There are no articles.

Features

MediaBeat
Norman Solomon


Hotel Satire
Lydia Sargent


Environment
David Ross


Asia
Justin Podur


Green Tide
John e. Peck


Fog Watch
Edward Herman


American Newspeak Quiz
Wayne Grytting


Film Review
Daniel Skinner


Film Review
Pauline Uchmanowicz


Eco-Activism
Mike Ferris


Foreign Policy
Tristan Ewins


Latin America
Roger Bybee


Gay & Lesbian Community Notes
Michael Bronski


History Handbook
Patrick Bond


Afghanistan
Noor Besharat


Conservative Watch
Bill Berkowitz


Labor Organizing
David Bacon


Zaps

There are no articles.

NOTE: Z Magazine subscribers and sustainers have access to all Z Magazine articles here and in the archive. The latest Z Magazine articles available to everyone are listed in the Free Articles box at the top of the table of contents, and are starred in the list below. Questions? e-mail Z Magazine Online.

American Newspeak Quiz

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M ost people are aware that politicians, advertisers, and CEO’s spout a bit of doublespeak every so often. But few appreciate the scope of cutting edge advances in the mangling of the English language occurring today. As governments and corporations grow, they become more distant from their fellow humans and the planet. The result is a parking lot of smashed concepts blindly uprooted from their native soil, which we connoisseurs refer to as Newspeak. Here is a quiz covering some of my sentimental favorites. Enjoy.
(Answers at bottom)

Questions

1. What is a “radiation enhancement device?”

2. What is the Pentagon’s “active denial system?”

3.  According to the Army, what is a “pre-dawn vertical insertion?” (Hint: the answer is family-appropriate.)

4. In the 1940’s, what was a “premature anti-fascist?”

5. If you’ve been “unassigned” by AT&T’s “force management program,” what has just happened to you?

6. If you were a temp working for Microsoft and they said you needed to “strengthen your relationship” with your employment agency, what should you do?

7. If you’re made a “partner” at Starbuck’s, how much do you make?

8. What was deemed “inappropriate” and banned by the community of San Juan Capistrano in California?

(A) Pornographic novels

(B) Street gangs     

(C) Clotheslines

9. In the state of Washington, what common phrase has been replaced by “dairy nutrient?”

10. What are the “hazardous fuels” in the Community Protection and Hazardous Fuels Reduction Act?

11. If you or your organizations are on the Bush Administration’s “high value hit list,” what should you do?

(A) Gloat and leak the good news to the press

(B) Get down to Wal-Mart and start buying

(C) Duck and cover

12. As part of “Reinventing Government” which new job title has the highest rank?

(A) Deputy associate deputy secretary

(B) Associate deputy assistant secretary

(C) Assistant deputy assistant secretary

(D) Deputy associate assistant secretary

Answers

1. A neutron bomb. (Personally, I would have gone with “radiation empowerment device.”)
2. A heat ray gun used for crowd control. (Subtract 15 points if you answered “the Pentagon.”)
3. It's not what we get at tax time, but a military invasion. (Undoubtedly timed to de-enhance collateral damage.)
4. The Defense Department’s label for those who fought against fascism in the Spanish civil war while the U.S. remained neutral.
5. You’ve been fired. (This marks a qualitative advance over “downsizing” in case you didn’t know.)
6. Pack your bags and go bact to AT&T; you were just fired.
7. Congratulations you’re making about minimum wage.
8. (C) Clotheslines.
9. Cow manure
10. Trees
11. (C) Duck and cover, you’re an Al-Quaida suspect and the Godfather has an offer you can’t refuse.
12. (A)—duh.



Wayne Grytting is the author of American Newspeak: The Mangling of Meaning for Power and Profit .
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