Feel the Love

We love the Winter Olympics’ commentary. Who cares about bobsledding and other winter sports where somebody wins by a nano-second? What we love is the personal stories about the athletes’ health issues, like all the diseases they have survived and all the near death experiences their coaches, parents, and siblings have undergone, not to mention the many tear-filled, flag-raising, U.S. National Anthem-playing award ceremonies. Feel the pride! 

We also love having a TV news reporter doing commentary at the opening ceremony so he can update us on how overjoyed Mongolia was to have a U.S. president visit their country for the first time and how evil Korea is and what a human rights violator China is—and how some ungrateful countries are violence-prone and still others are poverty-stricken, inspite of all the loving the U.S. has given them. When the continuously-running soundtrack of 1980s American pop hits played “Freedom” while the U.S. team marched into the stadium, we almost went into cardiac arrest from feeeeeling the lurve. 

We are, of course, filled with gratitude and love for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue released every February. It helps remind gals that sports should be about men. Half-naked gals frolicking with erect nipples in the blue waters off some Caribbean island are substitute trophies/gold medals for the men/winners to ravage in the pages of a magazine or while on a free trip to Disneyland. 

Above all, we love corporations for continuing to turn everything— politics, feelings, culture, sports, clothing, etc.—into sales opportunities. Special love goes to Filenes, a department store based in Massachusetts (which is going out of business) for turning the civil rights struggle in the U.S. into a shopping expedition to their Cambridge store’s lower level to see and hear Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have A Dream” speech while taking advantage of the many discounts. 

We love the company that has turned sincerity into sweater sales. It seems Evo Morales (newly elected president of Bolivia) has provided folks with a fashion opportunity. Who cares about conditions in Bolivia or the U.S.’s (loving) involvement there when a Bolivian sweater mania is going on. Shops in La Paz are selling up to 300 acrylic Evo pullovers a day. The New York Times , in an article titled “The Fashion of the Populist,” reports, “‘We saw his dress as an act of sincerity,’” said Raul Valda, the owner of the Punto Blanco textile company, which is reproducing the sweaters Mr. Morales wore in Europe.” 

Much love goes as well to Chrysler for making clear that movies are really about product placement. For instance, Harrison Ford’s new movie Firewall is about seeing the Chrysler 300C featured therein. 

Most of all we love the advertisers who are now allowing us to own an ad! The Boston Globe reports, “Companies hope to mimic the success of music downloads in offering Super Bowl commercials to iPod, computer users…to download their favorite beer commercials and watch them on video iPods, laptops, and computer screens” (there were 50 ads during the Super Bowl). Wow. Feel the pride. Download the love.