I have felt many of the things you have described, Justin, which prevent me from being more active.

I'm often/always anxious around new people at the best of times - organising adds debating skills and sophisticated interpersonal skills into that mix, which i honestly feel I don't have. And yet I know that by not trying, I'm only cementing my lack of skills in these areas.

It's a catch 22 as Jonathan says. Many of the things that help prevent organising for a Parsoc at the moment would be less relevant if Parsoc had real public recognition and there was already a sizeable participatory movement to plug into. And that, of course, requires building in the first place.

Justin, I can say I totally understand where you are coming from.  My guess as to why people don't organize more is just what you said, money poor and time poor.  In fact, I think that earlier organizers understood that it's impossible to have true democracy if you are overworked and tired.  I think that the current population, in the US at least, is less aware of that fact.  I remember, in my younger days, that I came to the conclusion that part of the reason that long work hours are popular was to keep workers in a weakend state, so that they can't fight back.  I used to think it was kind of a stretch, but now I think that it's a conscious strategy.  Why organize the day so that people can leave after 6 hours, you might end up with a country like France, where people can fight for their rights, a complete disaster, for sure.  

I also think that insecurity plays a huge part in people's willingness to organize.  When people feel safe and secure, they are more likely to speak up.  When they are worried that anything subversive might cause them to lose their job, then they are much more likely to keep their heads down.  It's a vicious cycle.  The antidote is security and solidarity.  Unfortunately, organizing means taking a chance, which puts one's own safey at risk, a catch 22.  

There also is the worry about having our heads bashed in.  In the US, we are told we are free. But, it's hard to ignore the cameras, the police in full riot gear, the helecopters buzzing overhead anytime there is a protest.  It's a known fact that there is no longer privacy, that the government regularly listens in on the conversations of it's citizens.  We have the largest prison population the world.  We have a history of violence, and a very reactionary population.  I can't tell you how many people have recommended decades in prison for small offenses, without a thought that it might be overkill.  

Despite it's wealth, the US is a miserable place for many.  Contrasted with opulence is misery and banality.  Just watch a show like American Idol, where there is no shortage of sob stories.  Part of the suspense for the contestants is that they might get voted off and go back to their shitty american life (like other Americans, I can relate).  And, for the majority living in America is a miserable experience, living from paycheck to paycheck, with no security, no social mobility (other than down), always worrying about losing your job, and no meaningful voice in their government.  If America didn't suck ass for the majority, I doubt there would be much drama in shows like American Idol, The Apprentice, any number of game shows, or the lottery for that matter.

That said, we (as Americans, and other West nations) have opportunities.  I can complain, but not get hauled in front of a firing squad.  I can organize others.  I can think.  For those of us in the west that are willing to do the work, there are opportunities.  I actually think the most priveledged often have a greater amount of fear  than those who have experienced harder lives.  Just remember, your fear keeps you in line.  You're probably not going to die if you lose your job or if you spend a day in jail, etc.  Being able to live with yourself is ultimately more important.

Thanks for starting this discussion, Justin. Similar issues often keep me from being more active. When I was in college (8+ years ago), I was involved in a few groups, but now, I do not do much besides blogging and internet petitions, as sad as that sounds. Definitely for me as well the 8-5 job wears me down mentally, even though it is not usually physically arduous. My limited transportation options also makes it logistically difficult to go to meetings (my wife and I share a car, and work in a different city than the one we live in). I'm also kind of scared of confrontations-- I have tried to discuss/argue with people about political matters in person, but I tend to get scared off and hostile if the disagreement gets heated. So I tend to just discuss with people I know I agree with, which does not make me a very good organizer.

And, also, I feel like I always haven't read enough-- I feel like no matter how much I read about  economics or sociology, there's always going to be someone who has read more and can tear my anti-capitalism arguments to shreds. Or that there's always going to be other leftists who are much more well-read than me and more experienced organizers.  With the last point, my workaround method has been to to realize that I can't read every article or book, and that at some point, I have to just make a decision about what I believe in, while keeping an open mind to criticisms of my positions. Easier said than done, I know.

Sorry, the last reply was addressed to Tali's comments. I forgot that the comments don't branch as such, so it might get confusing-

So thanks to everyone for their comments and thoughts and encouragement! It's much appreciated and good to hear we're all suffer sometimes, so to speak.

Cheers

Justin

Definitely, I have such feelings as well. For example, I've felt like a fraud most acutely when I've nodded my head as if I understood something (which everyone else seems to understand), but some nagging alarm is telling me that I don't really. ;)

I commend your honesty Justin about expressing your fears on activism and the emotional, social, psychological issues that it raises in each of us.

I think like most actions, decisions or experiences in life that are or have the potential to be life changing in nature it is only natural that fears, insecurities and doubts come to the surface within each of us.

Activism for us is one of those experiences, I say for “us” because depending on our life experiences and our geographical location in the world, this “internal assessment” of ourselves can be a lot more pronounced and exaggerated than for example someone living in an area of the world were conditions are unstable and injustice is ripe who’s fears unfortunately don’t always remain fears but can become a reality.

Many of “us” though in the “Western world” live in relatively stable political, economic societies especially here in Australia. We are the “middle class apathetic” who have been conditioned so by the society we live in.. through our education system, our media, our political institutions, throughout the social fabric.

We’ve been conditioned to conform, to obey, to tolerate, to accept and to oblige the powers that be… we’ve been trained to become self-absorbed and escapees of certain realities. Some of this conditioning is blatant and thrust upon us, yet some of it is subtle in nature and invisible to most.

This conditioning some would argue in a conspiratorial sense, is not accidental, others, that it’s a natural evolution of the political, economic and social stability of affluent nations such as ours!

To break out of such apathy in a culture such as ours is no small feet, because it forces us to question the core nature of our being. While this questioning may bring to the surface internal and external fears, insecurities about our sincerity/authenticity towards activism, it is the first step towards becoming authentic.

We are all frauds, all insincere, all inauthentic to some extent; we are all self-conscious and doubtful of our internal motives if we are blatantly honest with ourselves without self-delusion if we are not megalomaniacal sociopaths!

 So there’s no denying that there is a fear involved in deciding whether to take the blue pill or the red pill and deciding to break with convention, conformity and conditioning in going against the grain of the social fabric and choosing to become active.

It’s the internal battle before we chose to take on the external battle; it’s basic training 101 for activists but it’s training that holds one in good stead for the real battle. 

Sure! All the time, but here we are and we're not alone, Justin :)

Personally, for me, the big fears are alienation from my family and the police that can do me some bodily harm.

Stay strong,

Tali