Love and Activism

When I was at Cal State East Bay, I was a member of the Alliance for Social Justice. This was a radical campus activist group whose leader was a friend of mine, Gregg Horton. Horton introduced me to anarchist political philosophy and since discovering the "inner anarchist" within me, I have never looked back. As my final classes were nearing to an end and my graduation was imminent, I met a lovely lady in the Alliance named Nicole. She was gorgeous with lovely blonde hair, slender, and a clear complexion. When I first saw her, we couldn't help but steal glances at each other. I learned that she was an intern at Planned Parenthood. The next Alliance meeting I attended was my last one and we got to talking. I found out that she was an ex-Christian as was I. I was captivated by her and we seemed to like talking with each other.

That was the last time I ever saw her. Honestly, I lusted for her and I wanted to get to know her more as a person. I could never stay through the whole meeting and chat afterwards because I had to be at the train station at a certain time for my father to pick me up so he wouldn't be late for his "business meetings". I would be dismayed that I couldn't stay for these meetings and I recall being angry that I couldn't get to know Nicole more, as lovely as she was. I recall griping that my dad was a "get-rich-quick" schemer and always looking to make an extra buck, utterly obsessed with vast wealth so he could purchase vast pleasure with his riches.

My father is the biggest reason that I find anarchist political philosophy so attractive. While I would never adopt any politics or political economy out of spite for him, his obsession to get rich is something I find creepy and I loathe capitalism because as loving, providing, good-humored, and as well-meaning a guy that my dad is, he exemplifies what is wrong with it. I have no problem with him wanting to be financially independent and stress-free and immune to worrying about paying debts and bills. I would love the same thing but I fear that he wants more than that. I fear that he wants much luxury that none of us really need. But his money is his money and he was insulted at the thought that any of that should pay for anyone else's healthcare or education.

The interesting thing is that my meeting with Nicole helped to solidify what I find attractive in women. I liked Nicole because she was sexually liberal and I found it very much attractive that she worked for Planned Parenthood. Nicole was a young progressive feminist and I found that attractive. I find feminists attractive. I find women who favor a woman's right to abortion and favor reproductive rights attractive. What's more is that Nicole was an apostate from Christian fundamentalism, which I found attractive too. She was such a pleasant contrast from women like my mother and Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I am personally not attracted to conservative women in general and I am definitely not attracted to religious conservatives like my mother, Dr. Laura, Ann Coulter, and Michelle Maulkin. To be perfectly honest, I find these women romantically repugnant.

The reason is simple: I loathe women who are self-righteous, stuck-up, judgmental and snobbish. I don't care that women like my mother, Schlessinger, Coulter, and Maulkin have different values than I do. I wouldn't date them because of their values and I would rather date women with values that I share but it's this self-righteous attitude of these religious conservatives which I hate! Conservative religious women have beliefs that I find creepy and I wouldn't ever imagine dating them. I can date a secular conservative, sure. I can probably date a secular market capitalist. But I am not attracted to religious conservatives and I find the snobbery of religious conservative women repulsive to no end!

I was thinking about Nicole lately. I imagined having a girlfriend or a lover like Nicole. I found myself asking if Nicole would like Parecon. I imagine that she probably doesn't like capitalism considering that the Alliance was against capitalism. I wondered how much Nicole was like Lydia Sargent, a woman I admire to this day. I was going through Z Net today when it struck me that political activists and socialists need love and opportunities for romance. I wonder if Z Net might be interested in a starting up a singles website? Perhaps this is a bad idea, perhaps it's a promising idea but dead as far as finances go. But I realize that if Z Net had a singles website for political activists to meet, maybe there is another Nicole out there who would be ideal for me.

I have to carefully state what I am looking for. I want a woman who appreciates a very kind-natured, gentle, quiet man. I do have a sense of humor but it's more on the witty, and dry side with a touch of sarcasm. It's not at all goofy. I am not macho-minded, cocky, or arrogant in the slightest. In fact, one of the reasons why I am attracted to Parecon so much is because it offers to replace market competition with equitable cooperation. It wants to do away with the "social Darwinist "mentality of some capitalists, particularly some conservatives who believe that market competition is the magical mechanism by which everything improves, and they, themselves, can only be real men if they act extremely macho, cocky, and brawny, or otherwise they are "girly-men".

I am not too crazy about getting married, primarily because I see marriage as being inconsistent with my values as an anarchist. I guess it's more accurate to state that I would like a lifelong progressive lover who shares my love of children and wants about 4 kids. I would like someone who I can cuddle with, laugh with; make love to, and someone I can adore. I want someone who is either very secular or someone of strong liberal religious views although I prefer the former. Ideally, though, I would love to meet someone who I can really adore and fall for in a short time after meeting with her and just getting to talk with her. It would be awesome if, after, say, meeting a lovely young progressive lady, we would both feel comfortable and ready to make love to each other, say, after only a few hours of talking, realizing that we are ideal for each other on the day that we met. Seriously!

But I am seriously wondering if there is a way for serious progressives to meet? I can imagine hoping to meet someone by starting my own Parecon society or a similar group nearby where I live or will live in the future. But our future is what we make of it and so I am wondering- why not take the initiative and create an avenue for this to happen?

With love and anarchy!

 Matthew