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Vaginas Don't Come With Suction
Welcome to Hotel Satire, a place where gals come from all over the U.S. to take intensive classes and beauty treatments designed to teach gals how to be the pretty little passive twits-things that nature intended them to be.
Recently, we gals received some interesting and shocking information about violence. No, its not
about the perpetrators of the September 11 attack(clearly, that was Saddam we dont know why, it just was). Its not about the Maryland/Washington sniper (clearly, thats going to turn out to be Saddam, as well). No, its not the situation in the Middle East, India/Pakistan, or our beloved George Bush IIs intention to bomb and strafe willy nillythanfully, not ruling out nukes (Saddam has made it necessary; he is everywhere, even lurking near Hotel S.).
If its not the above, then what is this shocking news about violence, you ask? Well, hold on to your panty hose and apricot scrub, Gals, because the news is that women are more violent than men!!!
Yes, according to a new report/ebook from Harbinger Press titled Women Are More Violent Than Men by K.C. Wilson, selective reporting, exaggeration, and media irresponsibility has mislead us about the truth re gals current rage.
Take for instance the statistic that every 15 seconds a woman is battered by her mate in America. Well, according to K.C. Wilson, feminists and others are using battering to include shoving and making it sound as though women were getting a thorough beating up. But only a very small percentage of these so-called batterings involve repeated blows! Plus, says Wilson, if we used the same questionable math regarding violence to men, wed find that women batter their mates every 14 seconds (which is less than 15, but no matter).
Now, Wilsonusing various studies and so many statistics we are dizzy and could care less about themis able to show that if we count all kinds of things, including no-physical violence such as lying, threatening, manipulation, intimidation, telling secrets, shaming, teasing, name-calling, accidentally bumping into, ostracism, alliance building, flaunting, and carrying a grudgeall of which form what he calls female pathologythen gals are way more violent and controlling than men. Among all relationships, women initiate severe violence two to three times more often than men.
- Female high school students are four times more likely to be the sole abuser in a relationship (5.7 percent to 1.4 percent
- female college students commit far more physical violence than male students
- women are 70 percent more likely to use a weapon
- the population at greater risk from severe partner assault and murder is black males
- lesbian relationships are twice as prone to physical aggression as heterosexual ones and more violent than gay male relationships
Why, you ask, do we hear so much more about male violence against women? Wilson says its because no one looks carefully at the studies, which actually report the opposite. The research shows that what women lack in physical strength, they more than make up for with stealth and weapons. Where a man uses his fists, a woman sneaks up with a frypan.
If youre wondering how researchers can collect information on frypan, not to mention flaunting and lesbian, bashing, especially since, as Wilson states, men dont report being assaulted, do not concern yourselves. As surely as Saddam has weapons of mass destruction, so too do gals, according to Wilson who by the way is a reclusive social scientist living in Toronto, Canada with his cat and he and members of his family have been through divorce so he is reliable, for sure. Plus, Gals, our big weapon of destruction has been, until now anyway, feminists! Yes, femgals have distorted and lied about the truth, making them a greater threat than Saddam (although he may be involved in this feminist lie like everything else he is responsible for). Take rape. Its the only crime with more female victims than male, says Wilson (except if you include prison rape, then the majority is male victims). But as doctors pointed out to me, the only reason women dont rape is, they cant. Vaginas dont come with suction.
Oh my, is this incredible?! But theres more. Given that women are the sexual predator, says Wilson, one wonders if female rape is not already under-reported. Female rape, it seems, is defined as women willing to force themselves and their point physically. So the evidence suggests that women might rape more than menif they could rape more than they do. If youre finding this somewhat strange and contradictory, youre wrong.
So why the feminsmo myths about violence? Well, says Wilson, when there is fear, its easy to ride. Just as Joe McCarthy and George Wallace discovered they had talent as demogogs (and a fearful public was willing to go along), feminism was looking for their killer appthe issue that would force peoples attention to them and all they demanded. So they used gals fear and jealousy of men as their way of spreading their own demogogery through anti-menism.
See, for 150,000 years men have always protected gals from hardship, danger, rape, etc.; and gals have appreciated it. Gals were never afraid of men until now. Now, in advocating for no gender roles in todays society, the gal role has been annihilated and therefore gals see male attributes less as comfort and complement and more as challenge and threat. (Wait, so what hes saying is that when there was a need for protection, gals werent afraid, but now that there isnt, gals are? This is so deep.) Wilson says there is the inevitable competitiveness generated by a loss of formal gender roles.
He goes on: We are all familiar with the current, required version of history: women have always been exploited and oppressed by men. All history must be seen in these terms, just as the old Soviet Union rewrote it in terms of class struggle. Wilson believes, after much study of history, that there has never been a womens movement or revolution until now. His conclusion: women have never been oppressed. The meaning and significance of being a woman was gutted over the first half of the 1900s. (If gals were never oppressed, why did they need men to protect them for 150,000 years, you may ask? Wilson doesnt say, but who cares. Just asking that question makes you borderline pathological.)
True, in the 1970s women were feeling oppressed by some unseen thing, admits Wilson. But that unseen thing was industrialization and what it did to the female role. Feminists needed a scapegoat for this feeling of irrelevance and that scapegoat was the myth of men as oppressors. Next they needed proof of this mythical male oppression. Using lies about phantom wage-gaps and glass ceilings, being ignored in health care, domestic violence statistics, they built a feminist movement. They couldnt say, Gee, I miss that old female gender role. Lets see if we can get it back. So they tried to be like men, since being a gal seemed a disadvantage. But it was all founded on envy and jealousy of others.
But, says Wilson, there has never been anything wrong or oppressive about gender roles. They give each member of society an assured place, come what may, rooted in their very biology. Wilson doesnt mention it, but we Hotel Satire gals were relieved and happy to see the gals as property with no rights whatsoever myth being dispelled and explained as gals being protected by men.
Wilsons solution to this mess is to restore gender balance. Women must stop being afraid. They must take their appropriate place in todays society without feeling they must beat up others to get it.
It is impossible for there to be no conventional gender roles, he says, because our brains are wired differently. We have proof of this in the way boys behave and in the fact that gals populate family law, care-giving professions, human resources, and the media. So gals must accept their new gender role, which is the old gender role, but less rigid. Finally, there must be increased masculinity in the home and society from which its been banished by industrialization (and subsequent feminist lies) for almost 300 years.
This book is a must read. It will certainly help our Hotel Satire classes, where we teach gals to be domestic appendages and passive twits, but with some flexibility to occasionally speak a sentence or make a decision in the area of family law and such. As for the fear factor and the pervasive feminist pathology of envy, as well as denial about where the real violence in our society rests, we feel an important first step would be for all gals to support the upcoming war on Iraq by wearing the new patriotic navel ring designed by Playboy and pictured here.
Nothing says traditional female role like treating gals as decoration and willing sexual playthings. Its not oppression, its just being a gal and having a vagina that doesnt come with suction.
Z Magazine Archive
AnnouncementsLABOR - May 1 is May Day. Workers of the world will celebrate the 124th anniversary of International Worker’s Day. Born out of a call for an 8-hour workday in the United States, this day is an opportunity for all workers to show their solidarity with one another, as well as to renew the call for labor rights.
FARM CONFERENCE - The Farm Conference on Community and Sustainability will be held May 24-26 in Summertown, TN, in partnership with the Fellowship of Intentional Communities. Tour green homes, see sustainable food production, learn about solar installations, alternative education, midwifery, and more.
Contact: Douglas@thefarmcommunity.com; http://www.thefarmcommunity.com/.
PALESTINE - The Conference of the Palestinian Shatat in North American will be held June 3-5 in Vancouver. The conference will examine the future of the Palestinian liberation movement.
Contact: email@example.com; http://www.palestinianconference.org/.
LABOR - The Pacific Northwest Labor History Association’s 45th annual conference will be held May 3-5, in Portland, OR. This year’s theme is Labor Under Attack: Learning from the Past and Preparing for the Future. A call for presentations, workshops and papers is currently underway.
Contact: PNLHA, 27920 68th Ave. East, Graham, WA 98338; 206-406-2604; PNLHA1@aol.com; http://www3.telus.net.
MARIJUANA - On the first Saturday of May marijuana legalization activists will hold informational and educational events, rallies and marches in over 300 cities around the world.
ECONOMICS - The Union For Radical Political Economics will hold its 39th annual conference May 9-11 in New York City.
RECLAIM THE DREAM - The 2013 Poor People’s Campaign & March from Baltimore to Washington D.C. will be May 11. Communities, schools and unions interested in participating are encouraged to contact the Baltimore People’s Assembly.
Contact: 410-500-2168; 410-218-4835; BaltimorePeoplesAssembly@gmail.com; Southern Christian Leadership Conference of Baltimore and the Baltimore Peoples Power Assembly, 2011 N. Charles St., Baltimore, MD 21218.
MOTHER’S DAY - The 17th Annual Mother’s Day Walk For Peace will be May 12th, in Dorchester, MA. The walk began in 1996 for families who had lost children to violence. The day has become a way for thousands of people to financially support the work of the Louis Brown Peace Institute.
Contact: http://www.ldbpeaceinstitute.org/; http://mothersdaywalk4peace.org/.
NATO 5 - An International Week of Solidarity with the NATO 5 has been called for May 16-21. Supports call on supporters to raise awareness of the NATO 5 and support funds for the defendants on the one-year anniversary of their preemptive arrests.
Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org; https://nato5support.wordpress.com.
MOUNTAINTOP - The 2013 Mountain Justice Summer Activist Training Camp will be held May 19-27 in Damascus, VA. It will be a week of workshops, field trips to view Mountain Top Removal coal mines, direct actions, and service project.
FEMINIST SCI-FI - The feminist science fiction convention WisCon 37 is scheduled for May 24-27 in Madison, WI.
Contact: WisCon, ? SF3, PO Box 1624, Madison, WI 53701; email@example.com; http://www.wiscon.info/.
ANARCHY FEST - A month-long Festival of Anarchy is scheduled for May in Montreal. The festival includes The Montreal Anarchist Bookfair (May 19-20).
Contact: http://www.anarchistbookfair.ca/; http://www.radicalmontreal.com/.
LABOR - The International Labor Rights Forum will present: Down the Supply Chain, Driving Corporate Accountability, on May 22 in Washington, DC. The Labor Rights Awards Ceremony and Reception will honor pioneers in supply chain worker organizing, working solidarity and international labor rights policy.
MULTICULTURE - The 26th annual National Conference on Race & Ethnicity in American Higher Education (NCORE) will take place May 28-June 1, in New Orleans.
Contact: SWCHRS, 3200 Marshall Avenue, Suite 290, Norman, OK 73072; 405-325-3694; firstname.lastname@example.org; www.ncore.ou.edu.
MEDIA - The 2013 Alliance for Community Media Annual Conference will be held May 29-31, in San Francisco, CA. Participants will include educators, community leaders, media professionals, journalists, nonprofit leaders, policymakers and students.
RADIO - The 38th Annual Community Radio Conference is schedule for May 29-June 1, in San Francisco, CA, with discussions and workshops.
Contact: 1101 Pennsylvania Ave. NW, Suite 600, Washington, DC 20004; 202-756-2268; email@example.com; http://www.nfcb.org/.
BRADLEY MANNING - On June 1, a rally will be held at Fort Meade in support of Bradley Manning.
BIKES - Bikes Not Bombs is holding its 24th annual Bike-A-Thon and Green Roots Festival in Boston, MA on June 3, with several bike rides scheduled, music, exhibitors and more.
Contact: Bikes Not Bombs, 284 Amory St., Jamaica Plain, MA 02130; 617-522-0222; firstname.lastname@example.org; www.bikesnotbombs.org.
LEFT FORUM - The 2013 Left Forum will be held June 7-9, at Pace University in New York City.
Contact: 365 Fifth Avenue, CUNY Graduated Center, ? Sociology Dept., New York, NY 10016; http://www.leftforum.org/.
VEGAN FEST - Mad City Vegan Fest will be held in Madison, WI, June 8. The annual event features food, speakers, and exhibitors.
Contact: 122 State Street, Suite 405 B, Madison, WI 53701; email@example.com; http://veganfest.org/.
ADC CONFERENCE - The American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee (ADC) holds its annual conference June 13-16, in Washington, DC, with panel discussions and workshops on civil rights, media and other topics.
Contact: 1990 M Street, Suite 610, Washington, DC, 20036; 202-244-2990; firstname.lastname@example.org http://convention.adc.org/.
CUBA/SOCIALISM - A Cuban-North American Dialog on Socialist Renewal and Global Capitalist Crisis will be held in Havana, Cuba, June 16-30. There will be a 5 day Seminar at University of Havana, plus visits to a cooperative, urban garden, community development project, social research centers, and educational & medical institutions.
Contact: email@example.com; http://www.globaljusticecenter.org/.
NETROOTS - The 8th Annual Netroots Nation conference will take place June 20-23 in San Jose, CA. The event features panels, trainings, networking, screenings, and keynotes.
Contact: 164 Robles Way, #276, Vallejo, CA 94591; firstname.lastname@example.org; http://www.netrootsnation.org/.
MEDIA - The 15th annual Allied Media Conference will be held June 20-23, in Detroit.
Contact: 4126 Third Street, Detroit, MI 48201; http://alliedmedia.org/.
GRASSROOTS - The United We Stand Festival will be hosted by Free & Equal, June 22 in Little Rock, Arkansas. The festival aims to reform the electoral process throughout the U.S.
SOCIALISM - The Socialism 2013 Conference is scheduled for June 27-30 in Chicago, featuring talks and panel discussions.
Contact: email@example.com; http://www.socialismconference.org.
LITERACY - The National Association for Media Literacy Education (NAMLE) will hold its conference July 12-13 in Los Angeles under the heading, Intersections: Teaching and Learning Across Media.
Contact: 10 Laurel Hill Drive, Cherry Hill, NJ 08003; http://namle.net/conference/.
IWW - The North American Work People’s College will take place July 12-16 at Mesaba Co-op Park in northern Minnesota. The event will bring together Wobblies from branches across the continent to learn new skills and build One Big Union.
PEACESTOCK - On July 13th, the 11th Annual Peacestock: A Gathering for Peace, will take place at Windbeam Farm in Hager City, WI. The event is a mixture of music, speakers and community for peace. Sponsored by Veterans for Peace.
Contact: Bill Habedank, 1913 Grandview Ave., Red Wing, MN 55066; 651-388-7733; firstname.lastname@example.org; http://www.peacestockvfp.org.
CHILDREN’S DEFENSE - July 15-19, join clergy, seminarians, Christian educators, young adult leaders and other faith-based advocates for children at CDF Haley Farm in Clinton, Tennessee, for five days of spiritual renewal, networking, movement building workshops, and continuing education about the urgent needs of children at the 19th annual Proctor Institute for Child Advocacy Ministry.
Contact: email@example.com; http://www.childrensdefense.org.
ACTIVIST CAMP - Youth Empowered Action (YEA) Camp will have sessions in July and August in Ben Lomond, CA; Portland, OR; Charlton, MA. YEA Camp is designed for activists 12-17 years old who want to make a difference in the world.
Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org; http://yeacamp.org/.
LA RAZA - The annual National Council of La Raza (NCLR) Conference is scheduled for July 18-19 in New Orleans, with workshops, presentations and panel discussions.
Contact: NCLR Headquarters Office, Raul Yzaguirre Building, 1126 16th Street, NW, Washington, DC 20036; 202-785-1670; www.nclr.org.
LABOR - The Eastern Conference For Workplace Democracy: Growing Our Cooperatives, Growing Our Communities, will be held at Drexel University in Philadelphia, PA, July 26-28.
Contact: email@example.com; http://east.usworker.coop/.
WOMEN/LYNNE STEWART- Radical Women is asking for support letters and cards to be sent to Lynne Stewart. Stewart is a civil rights attorney and political prisoner who is currently in jail. She has breast cancer and authorities have denied her request for transfer from her Texas prison to the New York City hospital where she received medical attention during a prior bout of breast cancer. Send messages and cards to: Lynne Stewart 53504-054, Federal Medical Center Carswell, P.O. Box 27137, Fort Worth, TX 76127.
Contact: 747 Polk Street, San Francisco, CA 94109; 415-864-1278; RadicalWomenUS@gmail.com; http://lynnestewart.org/; http://www.radicalwomen.org/.
HAITI/WOMEN - Haiti’s government is considering a legal reform measure that would prohibit and punish all sexual assault, including marital rape. MADRE and the International Campaign to Stop Rape & Gender Violence in Conflict are launching a petition to raise international support for this push to address violence against women in Haiti.
Contact: 121 West 27th Street, #301, New York, NY 10001; 212-627-0444; firstname.lastname@example.org; http://www.madre.org.
SYRIA/MIDDLE EAST - The Middle East Children’s Alliance (MECA) is currently seeking funds to assist more than 200,000 refugees fleeing violence in Syria.
FOLK FESTIVAL - The Falcon Ridge Folk Festival will be held August 2-4, in the Berkshires, NY.
Contact: http://www.falconridgefolk.com/; email@example.com.
WAR RESISTERS - The War Resisters League will hold its 90th anniversary conference, Revolutionary Nonviolence: Building Bridges Across Generations and Communities, August 1-4, at Georgetown University. The event will focus on the U.S.’ long history of antimilitarism.
Contact: 339 Lafayette Street, New York, NY 10012; 212-228-0450; firstname.lastname@example.org; http://www.warresisters.org.
POPULAR ECONOMICS - The Center for Popular Economics is holding its 2013 Summer Institute August 4-9 at Hampshire College in Amherst, MA. No background in economics is needed for this intensive training. This year’s theme is, The Care Economy: Building a Just Economy with a Heart.
Contact: Center for Popular Economics, PO Box 785 Amherst, MA 01004; 413-545-0743; email@example.com; www.populareconomics.org.
VETERANS - Veterans for Peace is holding the 28th annual convention August 6-11 in Madison, WI. This year’s theme is, Power To The Peaceful.
DEMOCRACY - The Democracy Convention will take place August 7-11 in Madison, WI. The convention brings together nine conferences including topics such as media, education, defense, race, environment and others.
MEN - The 38th National Conference on Men & Masculinity: Forging Justice: Creating Safe, Equal and Accountable Communities, presented in partnership with HAVEN, will be held in Detroit, MI, August 8-10.
Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org; http://www.nomas.org/.
OCCUPY - An Occupy National Gathering will be held in Kalamazoo, MI, August 21-25.
Contact: email@example.com; http://occupynationalgathering.net/.
COMMUNITIES - The Communities Conference is a networking and learning opportunity for co-operative or communal lifestyles, with workshops, events and entertainment; scheduled for August 30-September 2 at the Twin Oaks Community in Louisa, Virginia.
LABOR DAY - The 29th annual Bread and Roses Festival, a celebration of the ethnic diversity and labor history of Lawrence, MA, will be held September 2, in honor of the 1912 Bread and Roses Strike. There will be music, dance, poetry, drama, ethnic food, historical demonstrations, walking & trolley tours.
Contact: PO Box 1137, Lawrence, MA 01842; 978-794-1655; http://www.breadandrosesheritage.org/.
OCCUPY WALL STREET - September 17 is the two-year anniversary of the Occupy Wall Street movement. Events are planned in New York City and worldwide.
TEACHERS - The 13th Annual Conference, “Teaching for Social Justice: The Politics of Pedagogy,” will be held October 12 in San Francisco, CA. The free event features workshops, resources, and free childcare.
Contact: 415-676-7844; firstname.lastname@example.org; http://www.t4sj.org/.
HAITI - International Action, which brings clean water and chlorinators to Haiti, seeks office space capable of housing up to six people and their office equipment.
Contact: Zach Bremer, Zbrehmer@haitiwater.org; 202-488-0735; http://www.haitiwater.org/.
MEDIA - The Union for Democratic Communications and Project Censored are sponsoring a joint conference on media democracy, media activism and social justice to be held November 1-3 at the University of San Francisco. Proposals for presentations, workshops and panels from activists and critical scholars are invited.